{"product_id":"ankous-unsharpened-scythe-hardcover","title":"Ankou's Unsharpened Scythe - Hardcover","description":"\u003cp\u003eby \u003cb\u003eJack Passey\u003c\/b\u003e (Author), \u003cb\u003eCourtney Larkin\u003c\/b\u003e (Editor)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eElliot is tired of living a life of leftovers. He was supposed to be the next Jack Lambert, the next T.J. Watt, but fate \u0026gt;, it seems, had other ideas. Now he's stuck in a \u003cem\u003ecould-have-been\u003c\/em\u003e purgatory. Thanks to some errant wisdom teeth, he has a sufficient quantity of pain killers to treat both a physical pain and an existential one. It was Troy Polamalu or bust, and he settles in for the bust. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs he tilts the prescription bottle over his life's gaping resignation, his demise is preempted by news of another's-a grandfather he called Patch-who makes it a habit of cushioning Elliot's plummeting descents. There is promise of inheritance-wealth and riches and a return to elite linebacker stature-but there's a catch. Good or bad, it must all be earned! Patch would say.\u0026gt;\u0026gt; In order to claim his full inheritance, Elliot must accept a re-wiring of the universe, develop a prodigious mreg, find a vent, then smash his body into an apical frame at seventy miles per hour. Time travel is simply not possible without a punctuated death.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut then there's this girl, and girls always get in the way...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNumber of Pages:\u003c\/strong\u003e 580\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 1.44 x 9 x 6 IN\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePublication Date:\u003c\/strong\u003e May 14, 2024\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books by splitShops","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42698531176544,"sku":"9781964664026","price":40.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0598\/1922\/9280\/files\/03630781aa90c325c2c37676ef3cd3cb.webp?v=1775834459","url":"https:\/\/bijoucc.myshopify.com\/products\/ankous-unsharpened-scythe-hardcover","provider":"CARIBBEAN CONNECT","version":"1.0","type":"link"}